37 - Martin Skrtel

[Callesen]

[Kofoed]

Fuck, et fedt billede

[Liverbird]

[Rambo]

tyvstjålet fra en Facebook gruppe:

Martin Skrtel doesn't sleep. He waits.

Martin Skrtel called Rafa in january, reverse charges, and told him he would be taking the number 37 shirt, Rafa understood.

His calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd... no one fools Skrtel.

Apparently Martin Skrtel is kept in a cage between matches.

Martin Skrtel once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Martin Skrtel can unscramble an egg.

Martin Skrtel demanded big lips elf ears a skinhead and Got them.

Martin Skrtel is The Stig!!!

Fat frank took one look at Martin Skrtel and gave him all the pies

martin skrtel is half robot, half dan agger (have you ever seen martin and dan in the same room....)

When Martin Skrtel sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Martin Skrtel has not had to pay taxes, ever.

Martin Skrtel once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Skrtel won by 5.

Martin Skrtel ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Martin Skrtel doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

skrtel doesnt cut the grass, he stares at it and dares it to grow.

Martin Skrtel sleeps with the light on. Not because he is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Martin Skrtel.

When the bogeyman goes to sleep he checks under his bed and in the wardrobes for skrtel.

[Aarhus]

Haha. Så meget Chuck Norris

[Rambo]

Haha. Så meget Chuck Norris

totalt men de passer godt til ham!

[Styf]

Mere Skrtel tyvstjålet fra RAWK.

Martin Skrtel is the leading cause of death in Eastern European centre forwards.

Martin Skrtel could strangle you with a cordless phone.

Killing Martin Skrtel doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

Martin Skrtel played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Martin Skrtel once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

When Martin Skrtel was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

Martin Skrtel can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

The Black Eyed Peas were just The Peas until Martin Skrtel heard their music.

Simon Says should be renamed to Martin Skrtel Says because if Martin Skrtel says something then you better fucking do it.

Superman wears Martin Skrtel pajamas.

*** Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Martin Skrtel, you're fucking dead."

Quentin Tarantino was asked to direct a biography about Martin Skrtel. He passed. It was too violent.

If Martin Skrtel was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.

You can lead a horse to water. Martin Skrtel can make him drink.

All men are created equal. They are all vastly inferior to Martin Skrtel.

Martin Skrtel was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg.

Martin Skrtel has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars.

[Thommo]

If Martin Skrtel was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.

Det er sgu humor jeg kan forstå

[Arturo Bandini]

If you have a flim, and Martin Skrtel has a flim. Martin Skrtel has more money than you.

When Martin Skrtel walks in the pub in "shameless",Paddy Maguire walks out (out the back door).

Martin Skrtel can beat rock with scissors.

Skrtel is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Martin Skrtel crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.

He has looked into the abyss, laughed, then had some dinner.

Martin Skrtel uses a night light. Not because Martin Skrtel is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Martin Skrtel.

The Bible was originally titled "Martin Skrtel and Friends"

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Martin Skrtel can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

Martin Skrtel makes hurricanes when he blinks.

Martin Skrtel leaves messages before the beep.

Martin Skrtel doesn't wear condoms, because there's no such thing as protection from Martin Skrtel.

Martin Skrtel once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Martin Skrtel once had a staring contest with a brick wall, and won.

Martin Skrtel did in fact, build Rome in a day.

Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Martin Skrtel is on.

[Styf]

Apple pays Skrtel 99p every time he listens to a song.

Can sneeze with his eyes open.

Can kill two stones with one bird.

Once destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Does not sleep. He waits.

Can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

Einsteins original theory of relativety was: if Martin Skrtel kicks you your relatives will feel it.

Is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Can divide by zero.

Once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

Martin Skrtel does not run. He jumps on the spot and the earth moves into position

If two Martin Skrtels tackled each other at the same time, time would collapse and the Earth would cease to exist.

was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost

doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage

is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

Before he goes to sleep, the bogeyman checks the cupboards for Martin Skrtel.

Martin Skrtel is the one remaining Highlander

They once made a Martin Skrtel toilet paper, but there was a problem - it wouldn't take shit from anyone.

Martin Skrtel puts the laughter in manslaughter.

let the dogs out

make onions CRY!!!

Martin Skrtel doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Martin Skrtel is Martin Skrtel.

As soon as he was born he grabbed the midwife, the doctors and nurses by their ankles and slapped their arses then went on a 22 pint drinking spree.

Invented Cessarian Section by roundhousing himself out of his mother

Martin Skrtel sees dead people, then kills them again.

Martin Skrtel made BA get on a plane without the use of drugs

When Martin Skrtel types LOL you can actually hear him laugh out loud.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Martin Skrtel.

When Martin Skrtel was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Martin Skrtel.

If you can see Skrtel he can see you, if you can't see Skrtel you may only be seconds away from death.

Martin Skrtel draws all his strength from Kryptonite, it does not weaken him.

[Callesen]

Teenage Mutant Martin Skrtel
Teenage Mutant Martin Skrtel
Teenage Mutant Martin Skrtel
Hero in a red shirt
Skrtel Power!

[pimpefar]

Skrtel på tavlen i Slovakiets VM-kvalkamp mod Nordirland!

[nrg]

Han er tilsyneladende faldet godt til i klubben..

http://www.liverpoolfc.tv/news/drilldow ... 4-1731.htm

Særlig denne udtalelse er ret morsom:

"It is not a problem on the pitch. Maybe it would be better if I could understand what Jamie Carragher is saying – but I know when he is on at me".

[YNWA]

For helvede hvor er det synd for Skrtel... jeg håber at det ikke er så galt som det ser ud, men den kan være rigtig grum...

Sgu altid noget at drengene gav ham en sejr når nu han solgte sig selv så dyrt!

[Rambo]

den så meget meget slem ud, og alene det du stabiliserer hans ben(knæ) inden de hælder ham op på båren tager jeg bestemt ikke som et godt tegn.

kunne godt forstille mig at det var sidste kamp for Skrtel i denne sæson!